When going into a home for a new case, you typically go through the intake process and assess the needs of the client. One of those needs can be self esteem. Even if it wasn’t on the documentation, nearly every person with mental health problems no matter the age, could use higher self esteem. If someone has mental health problems and has high self esteem, probably steer clear of them.
Self Esteem can be Quite Complicated
We’ve all heard it. “That person is cocky,” or, “she thinks she’s special,” and things along those lines. I’ve never really understood why people have had an issue with people that like themselves *unless* that person uses said self-esteem as a pedestal to push down everyone else. Of course, that’s not self esteem, it’s the opposite. It’s the same thing with kids.
Even if a child is the biggest bully in school (and at home) there’s usually a self esteem issue. The trick is praising what someone should take pride in. We call these “prosocial behaviors” but I generally try to stay away from the jargon on here. These positive behaviors can be things like being friendly to others, sharing, using positive coping skills to deal with their emotions, accomplishing a goal, and so forth. These are the behaviors that should be praised, what your child should be proud of, and what you should be proud of. It’s why it’s important to find those opportunities when they’re doing something well (no matter how seldom this happens.) You want them to identify with things that are socially positive. Because if they start to identify with more antisocial behaviors, you’re in trouble.
The Child that Identifies with Negative Behaviors.
I’ll end up doing an entire post just about this, and it will be long. The reason for this is because how a child perceives themselves dictates much of their behavior. There has been numerous sociological and psychological studies on this subject. If you treat a child like they’re a menace, that’s what you’ll get; never fails.
It’s important to implement consequences when kids do something outlandish, especially when they know they shouldn’t have done it, but it’s more important to establish the things they’re doing well and keep that going. Most of the time on a case, all I had to do was get the kid on a good run. Once they gained momentum and saw the rewards they received when they did well in different environments, they became proud of themselves. Getting into a negative cycle is tough to break out of and it gets more difficult the longer it goes on.
So my general advice is to always do what you can to point out a child’s strengths and to get them involved in some things they’re good at. Once they have enough confidence, they’ll begin to try some things they’re not good at. It may be difficult sometimes, but if you keep it consistent, like everything else, it should change within 3 months or so.